Here we go.....

[soscaredbackagain]

I've decided to start a dental journal. In about 2.45 hours is my first appointment with a new dentist and this seems like the first time I've felt positive about going. I've not been to a dentist in 4-5 years.

I'm not sure if I'll say the same thing when I'm sitting in the chair but for now, I'm not anxious and I feel like its the start of a new journey! Getting over my phobia will change my life and I've decided to stop delaying it.

So here is just a recap of my dental history!

My childhood dentist was quite brutal. He had no patience and was definitely not child friendly. My Anxiety just irritated him and I could tell he was unhappy when It was time for my appointment. Because my mum was scared of the dentist, our trips were not as regular as they should have been. I remember my almost-always-painful dentist appointments with him vividly, particularly the final one I had with him. I was having root canal and he hadn't numbed me properly. I asked him to stop but he ignored me and carried on anyway. In the end I was hysterical, sobbing, screaming, begging him to stop as I was in a considerable amount of pain. He really shouted at me and told me just to shut up and went off on one about how terrible my teeth were. He always used to lecture my mum for giving me sweets and fizzy drinks but the truth is, I was on a sugar free, wheat free, dairy free diet due to allergies. This dentist left me with some real confidence issues about my teeth and led me believe that all dentists were the same. After that root canal, I never went back to that dentist. I reacted to the adrenaline and ended up being horribly unwell after the procedure.

A year later, on Easter Sunday i found myself in the same dental office, though more scared than ever. I had an emergency appointment as I had an abscess that had to be drained. I inisisted I wouldn't let my usual dentist see me and saw another dentist instead who was much better. Because of the horrible experience of having the abscess drained - It just intensified my fear but looking back now, I think if I had visited that same dentist again, I wouldn't be in the state I am in now.

When I was 16 I got into the Academy of Contemporary Music doing vocals. It was my absolute dream to get in and a really hard place to get into, with thousands and thousands of applicants and only a tiny handful of places. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I worked really hard to get there. After just 2 years, I had to quit because I couldn't handle people looking in my mouth when I opened my mouth to sing. I was so painfully ashamed of my overcrowded mouth, full of broken teeth and dark metal fillings. After I left I suffered with agoraphobia as I hated who I was and felt like I just couldn't face the world.

Once I had hit rock bottom, my mum persuaded me to try and fix the root of the problem - my teeth. I was 19 when I went to see one of my mums friend's who was a dentist. It was probably the scariest moment of my life but I left feeling exhilarated with much less work needed than expected. I had confronted the fear and it was a new start! He had referred me to The Cedar Clinic in Frimley to have 4 teeth extracted while sedated and because I felt so comfortable with him, I agreed to let him fix my teeth and get me over my phobia. I had a filling that needed doing so I was to go back to him and he would fix it without sedation so I could try and confront the fear. He told me that I had a disease which I would of had from birth to with calcification of the teeth when I was in the womb. I can't remember the name of it as I was quite hysterical at the time but he assured me that this was the reason why my teeth broke so quickly and my bones are the same. My younger brother has the same condition.

I had the extractions done and healed quickly. It wasn't as scary as I had imagined it to be and for the first time in a long time I felt like something really positive was happening to me. I didn't realise that all my hard work would go down the drain quicker than you could say "toothpaste"

When I booked my next appointment to see Terry that I was told he was retiring.

That was it. Back at square 1. I stronly believed that I coudn't see another dentist other than him and I've not been to a dentist since.

I'm 23 now. I have an appointment in 2 hours with a new dentist who welcome anxious patients and although I'm not scared yet, I'm definitely apprehensive. I developed a gum abscess over the weekend and was off work last week with maxillary sinusitis that I fear started from an infected tooth. I'm predicting I'll need root canal on both teeth, extraction of my lower wisdom teeth and a tiny fragment of tooth left from one which has crumbled away almost completely. I'm pretty sure I have a leaky filling and I know one has chipped (the dreaded root canalled tooth) and no doubt I'll have cavities, holes and decay in other teeth.

My goal is to have a perfect smile by the time I get married next year. I want all of my nasty metal fillings replaced with white ones and I want to find out more about invisible braces to correct one of my wonky teeth at the front. Due to the disease I have, My teeth are very discoloured with patches of brilliant white, which probably sounds pleasant but it makes my natural tooth colour look quite yellow. I'm not sure what can be done about that. The original dentist-from-hell spoke of veneers when I was younger - I'm not sure if its still an option.

I want to sing again and I don't want my teeth or my phobia to hold me back. I'm scared but I know I can't live like this any longer. I don't want to wake up each morning, crippled in fear, unable to eat properly for fear of breaking more teeth.

I'll write in here again when I return from my appointment......

[RP]

Hi Soscared,

Congratulations on making the decision to take control of your life. Although I am quite a bit older than you, I can totally relate, but you have a much better chance to save a lot more teeth than I at your young age.

My phobia started with horrible childhood experiences as well and I too am a singer. Although not nearly as accomplished as you. I study classical soprano at the conservatory with a diva teacher but am on a break for work and to get my teeth fixed. To hit those really high notes at the top of my range, you need to drop your jaw and open your mouth wide. My teacher has a full length mirror in her studio and would tell me to look in the mirror when I sing to learn proper technique because I was reluctant to open my mouth. She knew I hated singing in the mirror but I never told her it was because I was embarassed about my ugly teeth.

I love music as I'm sure you do, it is a very important part of who I am, I've been playing instruments and singing since I was 8. My biggest stress reliever is when I can really concentrate on learning a difficult piece. Nothing else matters then.

I'll never make a living singing, I do it at as a solo cantor at church every week- it's also how I pray. So I miss it terribly right now while I have a few months of intense dental work. But it will all be worth it. The confidence you will gain by having a great smile will make your singing pure and from the heart.

Let us know how it goes.

RP

[soscaredbackagain]

I've done it......

I never thought I'd feel as comfortable in a dentist chair as I did today! I think we really hit the jackpot choosing Pennyhill Dental Care!

When we got there it was a warm, buzzy atmosphere. The girl on the desk was bubbly and there were sofas and a tv in the waiting room, which was small and cosy. I had to wait for a little while as I think they were having a particularly busy morning but it was great to watch everyone come out smiling, booking appointments for 6 months time, which I thought MUST be a good sign! I had to fill out forms about my dental and medical history and then I was called in. The room was huge and light and airy with glass along the entire back wall looking over gardens. There was no way I could feel claustraphobic in there like when I had my visits to the childhood dentists. I sat down in the chair and explained my fears, my bad experiences and the current problems with my teeth. He understood me completely and I felt at ease with him immediately. He put the chair back and had a quick look in my mouth before taking some xrays. He talked me through each step before he did it and took everything nice and slow. No sharp frantic movements, everything flowed perfectly. He examined my xrays and then studied my teeth one by one. I kept hearing numbers, the word gut wrenching word "CAVITY" and to my relief, the word "SOUND" lots of times.

He asked how often I brush and what I use and he seemed to be pleased with the outcome, explained the effects of using Corsadyl (which I knew already) and asked me if I was afraid of extraction. I replied "No, Its root canals that scare me" and he looked at me sadly and said. "I'm afraid you'll need a few of those." My heart sank.

He sat me up on a stool and showed me my xrays. He explained each tooth thoroughly so I understood exactly what the procedure was and answered all of my questions.

He told me that my previous dentist had done a shoddy job and failed to do my root canal properly. He explained that when you do a root canal, you must fill down the roots too. My childhood dentist only filled in the top part of the tooth, ignoring the root altogether. He said that since the filling for the root canal needed replacing anyway, he would prefer to redo it, giving me a nice white filling on top but the choice was up to me. Since I really do not want another abscess, I agreed without hesitation.

He said that my sinus infection could have been from a tooth (which I also need root canal on) but I probably had an infection from my bronchitis or possibly a bit of both.

My Gum abscess is also a root canal job and thats the first one that needs sorting. I was a bit scared that my first treatment at the dentist would be a full blown root canal but I know that its my fault for running away from my problems for so long. He showed me the xray and luckily its not a large abscess!

All in all - I need 6 fillings and 3 root canals. All of my fillings are mostly old ones that need replacing which is great news since they will all be replaced by white ones.

The tiny segment of tooth I have is just roots and that will need to be extracted.

And I need to see the hygenist for a 20 minute scale and polish.

He then helped me build a plan. It broke down all the pricing and to my relief he's managed to make it a lot more affordable. Since I have so much work that needs doing, he's even letting me have 3 of my white fillings done on the NHS.

This is the price breakdown.

NHS Treatment
Examination
2 Xrays
3 White Fillings
1 Extraction

Total; £45.60

Private Treatment
1 20 Min Hygenist Visit £40.00
3 Root Canal £180ea
3 Root Canal White Fillings £90ea
6 White Fillings £90ea

Total £1120.00

OUCH. Thats a hefty bill I know, but he's going to do everything in stages so I can afford it.



I have my first root canal booked for the 19th November and I'm not scared! He said its just like a filling but takes a little longer and said I'll be in, out and finished within 30 minutes.

He prescribed me another anti-biotic - metronidazole as I am unable to get an appointment with him for another couple of weeks. The only problem is I'm scared of being sick! I don't drink very much, if at all, anyway, but this week is The Spirit Of Christmas Fair which I'm exhibiting at and its going to be VERY challenging not trying anything



RP: Your reply really touched me! Music is also a huge part of my life. I love to write my own music but now I have no-one to hear my songs unless I record them because I'm too scared to sing for anyone except close friends and relatives. Its my dream to be a vocal coach and if I stay being scared of the dentist... that is NEVER going to happen!

At ACM, we also had those horrible mirrors you had to sing into as well. I also hate my appearance in general but the fact that everyone else could see inside my mouth too made everything 10 times worse! Yuck!

Thank you so much for your support. Its great when it comes from someone who really understands how important it is to get over this fear.

I hope you can sing again soon! If your like me, singing is like your oxygen and being deprived of it isn't easy.

[RP]

Great job, sweetie, that was a big step. Now you have a plan and it's very doable. I just got thru 4 extractions and have my really big appointment Nov 12 (see my journal). I'm scared but I'm going to do it.

I'm scheduled to sing again Nov 22nd- 10 days later with a new bridge in the front of my mouth. Usually I do a full church service which requires 11 songs done alone or leading at the mike (in front of a few hundred people). My director is easing me back in, I'm just doing two easy solos during the choir service. I'll let you know how it goes.

Keep posting in your journal, then go back and reread it. Its a great way to get your fears sorted out, see what you've accomplished, and learn from it.

rp

[soscaredbackagain]

Okay. Today is 'D-DAY'
My nerves have gotten the better of me this week. I had one of my worst panic attacks ever on Monday night - to the point where suicide seemed a better option than facing my appointment today.

I keep telling myself that its only root canal - that hundreds of people must get this kind of treatment every day - that it will be over in half an hour and then I can get out of there. I've tried to figure out exactly what I am scared of and every time it comes down to one thing - the injection.

I have no idea why the injection has scared me all of a sudden. Maybe because I had a horrific blood test a couple of years ago that left me in a pretty bad way - I know this is a totally different kind of thing but its still a needle and I'm still scared about it. I'm also worried about the numb sensation. It never bothered me before but now I'm really scared of it. After some dental treatment a couple of years ago - my brother bit through his lip due to the numbness and I think this is why I am scared of it.

My Aunt who is also very scared of the dentist has given me some Valium to take. I've not taken it before so I have no idea if it will really help but the dentist did suggest I get some when I went for my inital appointment.

I have 4.5 hours until I go - 5 Hours until I'm in the car on the way home.
I will reply later when I am home.

I hope I can do this...

[Peony]

I'm quite new to the forum but I've just been reading your story and thinking it must be around your appointment time now. Good luck! I will check back later and see how it went. It's good that your appointment is only half an hour, I seem to remember a root canal I had a few years ago taking much longer!

[soscaredbackagain]

I'm back!
I'm so proud of myself!

My root canal went amazingly well. I barely felt a thing! I had 3 injections in total but i only felt a tiny sensation on the second one! He took a long time making sure I was properly numbed and warned me that I might feel a couple of twinges throughout the deep cleaning process, which I did but it was over very quickly - He even finished early! I think it was about 20 minutes! I was so shocked it was so fast - I remember my first root canal with my nightmare childhood dentist being well over an hour!

He was an absolutely fantastic dentist and I recommend anyone in the surrey/hampshire area who is anxious about the dentist - to pay him a visit! He kept checking I was OK and kept telling me to concentrate on my breathing. He was gentle and talked me through each procedure before he did it. He encouraged me the whole way through telling me he would stop anytime I wanted him to.

Just like in my inital appointment, he showed me everything on the xrays, explaining what was what and told me to make another appointment for a couple of weeks time for the final filling - He said that he may have to insert more medicine into my tooth and redo the temporary filling if its not 100% cleaned up as my infection was quite bad but he said that 90% of it had been done already!

I left there with a HUGE smile on my face and the numbness was gone within an hour and a half! (I think thats because I have adrenaline free injections?) I think i even giggled a few times thoroughout the procedure at how I couldn't open or close my mouth without help because I was so numb!

I can't believe I've done it!!!!!!

[Cielo]

You have every right to be extremely proud of what you've accomplished!

Congrats on your engagement, and again for getting your teeth sorted out for your wedding!

[soscaredbackagain]

I'm a bit fed up..... I hope someone can reply to this and help me feel better!

My other tooth that requires root canal abscessed overnight. I woke up with it swollen and tight and a large swelling protruding from my gum. Luckily during my first appointment at my new dentist I was prescribed metronizadole (for my other abscessed tooth that I had root canal on) so I started taking them this morning. I had avoided taking them before as I was already taking amoxacillin for sinusitis and it seemed to be doing the trick. I also suffer from emetaphobia and I've heard all the horror stories about vomitting and nausea with Metranizadole so I'm really taking them as a last resort.

Around lunchtime I went to take a look in the mirror at my mouth and saw that the lump was oozing. I mouthwashed with cordasyl and green pus and red flecks came out in my spit. I tried squidging the spot with the inside of my mouth (so I wouldn't touch it with anything that might infect it more) and more and more oozed. I kept mouthwashing it to get rid of it and to my horror SO much pus came out. There was so so much! I know that really is quite disgusting but the swollen lump has disappeared and now my gum just looks very red and feels a bit raw.

I've just gone to mouthwash again (its now 4.30) and it was really REALLY stinging. Have I done the right thing?

I can't believe this flares up 2 days after root canal on another tooth.

Luckily though I think i've really eased my phobia. If I had the money I really would walk right in there and have the root canal right now. I wish I wasn't so poor....